Second Update

OOC: Greetings all. Here are the weeks jokes. As always, they are categorised into the following categories:

1) Star Wars Gags
2) Out of Character Gags
3) Non Star Wars and Crossover Gags
4) Photos and Links
5) Hashtag Gags
6) Coffee Related

As always, if you find one you like, do retweet it again. Retweets are the way I know which type of jokes people like, so I can make more.

1) Star Wars Gags
When they find us, they will grind us into little pieces, then blast us into oblivion! Or we'll chop them up. Probably the latter. #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21143815545

I just tried to get a vanity license plate of my own name. Ended up with "OB1 K-NO-B" :-/ #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21147723961

When Jedi fight we swing our lightsabers around a lot. If one were to, I don't know, "accidentally" hit Jar Jar.. #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21182944078

You were right about one thing Master... the Ewoks *were* short. #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21193143730

"Commander Cody! Good to see you!" "I'm not Commander Cody sir" "Oh, sorry... Is he Commander Cody?" "No sir" #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21248135179

Did you see how many planets were represented in the senate? You'd think some kind of draft would make more sense than clones #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21251127793

"Live fast, Die old, Become more powerful than you could possibly imagine" #jediproverb #starwars @JediOrderPR
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21336126803

As a Jedi Knight I can use many Force powers. Force Push, Force Pull, even Force Stop, Hammertime. #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21403715037

Midichlorians aren't real. We made that up to make Qui-Gon look silly. That device we gave him? It checks blood sugar levels #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21426379925

"My forgotten". Does that mean, "I forgot" or "I've been forgotten"? Jar Jar, why can't you just speak basic? #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21430126184

For the record, we came up with the name "Midichlorians" when Master Windu dropped his music player in a pool #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21433669277

Why do people keep calling me JEEDAI? "Jedi" isn't hard to pronounce. It's like Jedward except.. not lame :-/ #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21434738030

C3PO is more machine now than man. Twisted and evil. #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21495961444

There are many different kinds of Force. There's THE Force, there's Showoff Force, Force Ofwill, Force eps, Force Dentry... #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21531058598

Just how many gadgets does R2 have? You'd think they could fit a speech synthesizer in there! #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21588003450

In my experience there's no such thing as luck. In Qui-Gon's too but that's because he cheats. #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21605533505

Lift an x-wing with the Force? Well I could do that. I'm just not a showoff. You're a dick sometimes, Yoda. #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21625351093

2) Out of Character Gags
In #starwars if you're less than 5 feet tall there's a good chance no one has any idea what you're saying
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21187720347

3) Non Star Wars and Crossover Gags
The twitter character limit can be difficult to work with sometimes but I'll try and condense this down. The secret to defeating Bieber is t
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21144732382

#JustinBieber... You will never find a more wretched hashtag of squee and puberty. We must be cautious. #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21147433200

#Jumper2 spoilers: Roland loses his hand and gets thrown out a window. David goes on to murder younglings. #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21593932032

4) Photos and Links
Stay on target.. #starwars http://twitpic.com/2efi0n
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21099559112

"Victory you say? Master Obi-Wan, not victory" "It's not?" "....no" #starwars http://twitpic.com/2f3a17
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21253189630

Good news: the new #starwars special editions take out Hayden Christensen... Bad news: http://twitpic.com/2f64di
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21274035391

Padme, there is a chance you misheard me... #starwars http://twitpic.com/2g8t6t
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21600749566

Master Windu terrifies me sometimes #starwars http://twitpic.com/2g9xi7
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21609780958

5) Hashtag Gags
#ismilewhen I see my new pupil is getting a chance to see me in actio-OH SHIT! #starwars http://twitpic.com/2emlvb
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21143598892

#therewasatimewhen #hanshotfirst then #therewasatimewhen #greedoshotfirst now.. #hanshootsfirstandgreedohasaspazattack #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21262743923

"#youdonthavealife" "Very observant of you"
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21262828288

#therewasatimewhen Anakin and I were on Cato Neimodia and... actually, let's not tell that story... :-/ #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21265398005

#therewasatimewhen I was addicted to Death Sticks. But they cause hallucinations. Make everything odd. #starwars http://twitpic.com/2faauz
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21305851504

Vader on Padme: "#Therewasatimewhen I was so brokenhearted. Love wasn't much of a friend of mine" - AeroSith #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21313415938

"I don't care about your #missedcallexcuses! Just shut down all the garbage smashers on the detention level!" #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21350983319

#whatnottodoontwitter: Retweet this
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21357574799

#note2females Why have I never seen more than one of you in shot at the same time? #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21397192254

Luke, I am your father!" #SWMisquotes #starwars #seriously #youshouldknowthisbynow
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21484057254

#zodiacfacts Leo: Looking for a change? Consider getting struck down to become more powerful than you could possibly imagine #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21484374812

"Wesa given you an Um Bongo" "Master, what's an Um Bongo?" "They drink it in the Congo" #SWMisquotes #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21484912833

"Join me, Simba, and we can rule everything the light touches as father and son!" #SWMisquotes #starwars #thelionking
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21490640448

"Duct tape is what gives a Jedi his power. It has a light side, a dark side and it binds the galaxy together" #SWMisquotes #starwars
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21495018153

The Millenitese Falcon #starwarsclassics
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21612679603

Bridge over the River Qui-Gon #starwarsclassics
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21612720485

The Hitchhiker's Guide to ruling the galaxy as father and son! #starwarsclassics
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21612937275

6) Coffee Related
Do not underestimate the power of the Dark Coffee. Java, beans, percolation. The Dark Coffee are these #starwars #Coffee
http://twitter.com/BenKenobisGhost/status/21585901508